This is going to be a long blog, I will admit that before I even start. But this blog is not going to be a rant or anything. This is coming from my heart and tears are already starting to swell as I begin to type this.
I am in disbelief of where I am today. I am so thankful to the numerous people that have brought me to this place. 2, even 3 years ago, I would have never been able to even DREAM about where I am today. 1 year ago I would have jokingly dreamed about, telling myself it was just wishful thinking. And it's killing me.
No, mind you I am very much alive. But every other day we live is just one step closer to death so in all technicalities living our lives, and completing our destinies really are killing us.. Ok enough of that weird crap. But seriously.
I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams and I am silently standing back watching as my life and dreams unfold in front of me. It amazes me at how quickly I got where I am today. It amazes me all of the new friends I've made.
I used to remember thinking "God, I know what you want for me. I know you have these amazing plans for me. But I'm tired of waiting. I want what's next. I know what you have planned, I just don't know how or when or who is going to help me get there."
Everyday I am getting closer and closer and closer. I am seeing these amazing things unravel before my very own eyes so fast that I wish I could go back and play them in slow motion just to make sure it's real.
I have realized that the things I have been doing lately other people would kill for. I am doing things thousands of people would just be extremely jealous for. I have created friendships with people that some people fantasize about. I am in a position that God has placed me in because there is no possible way that I could have gotten to on my own.
My friends told me that when they first met me they thought I was making things up. They didn't believe me and they thought that I was full of crap. They believe me now. But it shocks them. My other friends tell me that they want my life. They say it makes them jealous.
When I look at myself. And I see who I am minus everything amazing that God has done in my life I wonder how those amazing things even happened. And I realize as life has gone on, those things have gotten even more and more and more amazing, and it makes me wonder how much better life is going to get. Where am I going to be a year from now?
When I look in the mirror and see the zits on my face. When I look at my house and see how small it is. When I think about where I live. When I think about all the things my family has sacrificed. When I think about all the mistakes I've made.When I think about my life I don't believe myself.
But I can't believe myself. I can't believe everything I've done. But I have to believe God. I have too.
It blows my mind. I dreamt about some of these things when I was 12. And they're coming true. It's beautiful to see what's become of these ashes. Some people call of these things hopes and wishes and dreams and fantasies. This world tells you to blow them off and just ignore them. But you can't ignore these things. You can't lose faith. You can doubt what God is going to do in your life. When you begin to doubt these dreams, you begin do doubt God's will. See when you believe these dreams and hold on to hope, they come true. You call them dreams but they will be given life. Dreams become reality. When you begin to doubt you're killing them. And by killing them you're losing every chance they have to become reality.
I consider myself so fortunate to have had these numerous opportunities. I thank God for them. I thank God for the people that have made them come true.
I don't know if this makes sense to you. I probably sound crazy. But honestly, have hope my friends. Your dreams are waiting for you. They're just around the corner.
